Is it noshworthy?

Mmmmm… Sweet, delicious cow…

March 19th, 2010

I can never be a vegetarian.

It’s not that I don’t like vegetables. And even for my women friends who tell me that potatoes and corn don’t count, they at least need to acknowledge that they are not meat.

As an avid collector of cookbooks, some of my favorites are from the Moosewood series, where they make veggies into something wonderful, without making something that emulates meat. I’m sorry, if you’re eating vegetarian sausage or chicken nuggets, you’re just fooling yourself! You’re a wannabe carnivore! (I look forward to your emails)

But I’ll cover vegetarianism in a future post.

The reason I can never be a vegetarian is that I love cow. Yes, I know they are cute, but I mean, I love beef. Hamburgers, Kosher hot dogs, tri-trip, carne asada, and the Chairman of the Board, a nice, juicy steak!

Yes, if the doctor said, “Peter, if you eat another steak, you’ll die tomorrow”, I’d seriously consider the fact that I’ve already had a long and happy life.

It’s not a lack of will power, or that there aren’t appetizing alternatives. Life is short, and in the food world, few things bring me such consistent joy. And few things have been prepared in so many ways.

And clearly I’m not the only one. Years ago, McDonald’s used to fry its world class French fries in beef tallow. Thus why they are excessively scrumptious. As they swept across America they tried to switch to vegetable oil, and suddenly the complaints came rolling in.

“They don’t taste as good as they used to.” “When did they become so bland?”

McDonald’s is on the cutting edge of food science, and quickly put their guys in lab coats to work. They came up with a food flavoring that made their fries even better than before, and after assuring vegetarians the world over that their new seasoning was both vegetarian and Kosher, went off to dominant the world French fry market.

What most people don’t realize is what’s documented in the book, “Fast Food Nation“. McDonald’s “reinvented” beef tallow in a lab, down to the molecular level. It tastes like cow, because chemically, it’s exactly like cow.

And there was much rejoicing.

Someday they will make entire steaks in a Petri dish, and as long as I still get a good, marbled, USDA Choice, Filet Mignon out of the deal, I’ll be happy.

I’m old enough to remember a time when steak was a luxury. When taking mom out to a “steak dinner” was a special occasion. The 1970’s were the era when steak became more affordable, and Sizzler, Ponderosa, and Black Angus steak houses started to sweep across America. This turned steak from an annual event into something we can reasonably have every week.

And My God! Look at the variety of cow-based foods! Each nationality and region invents new and innovative ways to make our friend the cow into a tasty treat. Corned beef and pastrami, brisket, ribs, Carne Asada, Beef Stroganoff, chili, and Korean BBQ, all have made the world a better place with their beefy goodness.

Yes my friends. I love me some cow! And this is why I’ll never be a vegetarian.

2 Responses to “Mmmmm… Sweet, delicious cow…”

  1. BC Says:

    Let’s face it, nothing makes for a better Quadruped Dish of the Day than a nice, tasty cow!

  2. BC Says:

    Another thing about cow… Have you ever noticed that in a discussion about restaurants possessing the best service and ambiance, the talk always turns towards high-end steakhouses? The dim lighting, the red leather high-backed chairs, the waiter who’s doing it as a career, not a gig between other jobs… it all adds up.

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